Monday, April 30, 2012

The Conspiracy Theorists' Ball - Part One


Here is the first installment of my "Choose Your Own Adventure" story. The trick is that each installment will end with a decision that our fearless hero has to make (that is, unless the installment ends with his untimely demise) and it will be up to you, the reader, to decide where he goes from there. To do this, you need only cast your vote in the poll on this blog. At the end of the week, the option with the most votes is the winner. Now... let's get interactive!

The Conspiracy Theorists’ Ball – Part I
By Brandon Palzkill

            It was the late afternoon and deep tangerine sunlight streaked across Adam Barnes’ desk as he peered somberly through a file folder.  His shaking hand grasped blindly for the nearly empty glass of whiskey that sat dangerously close to the edge of his desk while his eyes focused resolutely on the face of the young man staring back at him. The pampered-looking boy, all of about twenty, sat unmoving in the three inch by five inch photograph that had been affixed to the dossier of the private investigator’s case file.
The boy had been the only heir to a billion dollar Oil Empire and was last seen leaving a club at around four AM, a little more than a week ago. He was well known for his hard partying lifestyle so nobody gave much thought to his absence over the next two days, but when someone found his car in a ditch, seven miles outside of town on Highway Twenty Nine, a panic ensued. The police scoured the area thoroughly for two more days but had come up with less than nothing and the standard forty eight hour window had already long passed them by, which made the boy’s father eager to call for Adam’s services.
They always called him. Sure he was the only private investigator in the city but he was also damn good at what he did. With his keen senses and analytical mind, he was able to make short work of any investigation. There were few cases that he couldn’t solve and fewer criminals who he’d been unable to expose, which was why he found it so puzzling that the police hadn’t consulted him yet. When they and the boy’s father finally did seek out his expertise, he had eagerly offered his services, assuring the boy’s father that his son would be found in no time.
True to his word, he had found the boy, every bit as fast as he said he would… or rather, he what was left of him. His killers were savage and merciless and left him in several pieces, scattered throughout an old paper mill. He thumbed to the back of the file and found the crime scene photos; it was a horror story that eternally burned itself into his memory. His stomach rumbled and sloshed queasily. He hastily pawed for the glass to take a sip of cure-all and knew by the chiming tinkle rumbling off the floor that he had missed.
“Damn it,” He groaned, tossing the file aside.
As if on cue, the door opened and Maggie, Adam’s secretary, walked in. The setting sunlight caught her strawberry blonde hair in a way that made it look like wavy locks of fire. Her pale green eyes found the sad puddle of booze and glass and she heaved a heavy sigh.
“Yes?” Adam sniped.
Maggie had worked for Adam long enough to know not to take his shortness personally. She understood that he always took it bad when his cases went south and this case had gone as far south as hell. His ability to still care so much was one of the reasons that he had earned her respect and she considered suffering the backlash of his bitterness to be a small price.
“I thought you’d needed some quiet drinking time,” she said; “so I held your calls.”
She set two notes down on top of the opened file folder and gave him a sympathetic smile.
“Would you like me to clean that up for you?” Maggie asked.
“Thanks,” Adam muttered. “But don’t worry about it. I got it.”
Maggie watched with gentle curiosity while Adam went to work cleaning up the broken glass. He felt self-conscious and slightly sheepish as her gaze bored into the back of his head and was caught off guard when he nicked himself on a broken shard of glass and Maggie had been the one to give a sharp intake of breath.  
“Look…” he awkwardly blurted out; “you don’t need to stick around. I’m planning on calling it an early day. Take off; have some fun.”
The slightest hint of disappointment shone in Maggie’s eyes and when she gave him another smile, it looked somewhat forced.
“You got it, boss.” She answered. “I might suggest, though, that you should probably check those messages before you leave, too. I’ll see ya’ tomorrow.”
She disappeared through the door and Adam felt an inexplicable need to call her back. He knew what it meant but he didn’t have the courage to say it aloud. For tonight, at least, it was all for the best. He was not going to make for good company, nor did he feel like being in the company of others for the rest of the evening.
 No sooner had Adam spotted Maggie stepping out onto the sidewalk heading for her bus when he buried the file in the deepest reaches of his file cabinet and sacked out on the couch with a fresh glass in his hand, eager to imbibe a little liquid lullaby. Before he took his first sip, however, he had noticed one of the message slips on the floor; clearly, it must have fallen off when he picked up the folder. He grabbed it and set it next to the other slip of paper and then he figured that he might as well give them a glance while he was still sober enough to read.
The first message was listed as being from an “S. Fincher,” which he surmised to be Sheldon Fincher, the high powered attorney:
“Mr. Barnes,
I require your assistance in a matter of the utmost importance and discretion. Please join me at my home this evening at half past eight, where I might give you a greater explanation of my troubles. I can be found at 210 Nightingale Lane. I hope to see you then and wish that I might have the opportunity to make use of your talents.
Sincerely,
S. Fincher”
He knew that neighborhood. That was a swanky gated community and most of its residence made in a month what Adam failed to make five years time. Any case that could come out of that neighborhood might keep the lights burning for a good long while. However, that thought had no sooner crossed his mind when a second thought replaced it; he couldn’t handle another missing child at the moment.
The second message was altogether vexing. That there had been no name attached to it was only one of its mysteries; the whole message seemed to be an enigma:
“Adam Barnes,
Something disastrous will happen in the next few days unless you can stop it. Meet me tonight beneath the bridge at 2004 MacDougal Drive at eight forty five, sharp… Trust no one.”
That was certainly not a safe place to be when the sun goes down. It was located deeply within the city slums but near the outskirts, where the river passed through the old industrial district. He couldn’t begin to imagine the sort of clientele that would ask to meet him at such a place, nor the sort of job that he might be asked to perform when he got there.
Adam read and reread both of those messages and was uncertain if he was admiring Maggie’s accuracy or her flare for the dramatic in her message taking abilities. Either way, his interest was definitely piqued. The only trouble was he could never make it to both of them; they were on opposite sides of the city. What was he going to do?

Will Adam:
A.)   Seek his fortunes on the rich side of town?
B.)   Delve into the mysteries of the slums?

Friday, April 27, 2012

Growing


Growing
By Brandon Palzkill

Spiraling, spinning helicopter seeds
Falling from the maple tree
Sinking, buried; they’ll start to grow
And soon it towers for all to see.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Monkey Business


Monkey Business
By Brandon Palzkill

The monkey keeps banging his cymbals
In the heart of the village bazaar.
Clashing echoes, ringing through the square,
All day, every day; rain or shine.
He pounds a clanging rhythm
To the organ grinder’s opus
‘til his paws begin to tremble
And the cymbals are as lead.
Tired, weak… desperate to set them down,
yet spectators pay him no notice.
There for a show; why would they notice?
It would spoil their entertainment…

Monday, April 23, 2012

Subconscious Free For All

Subconscious Free For All
By Brandon Palzkill

I had that dream again last night…

The Brew Crew played a home game
On a graham cracker diamond
Set with marshmallow bases.
The batter hit a high home run
Shattering the chocolate scoreboard
Then he stole home and ate it up.

The game ended and I found myself
Out in the parking lot,
Falling in a quantum anomaly,
Sucked right back where I began.
I lost myself in a temporal loop…
I lost myself in a temporal loop…
I lost myself in a temporal loop…
I lost myself in a temporal loop…
I lost myself… I hung a sharp left.

I left that loop behind me
And wandered into a china shop,
Absolutely bursting with bulls
Of every possible shape and size;
Gold, silver, rubber, plastic,
Glass, paper, cubic zirconia…
I couldn’t understand the fuss;
All they did was stand there.  

The Monkees, on the other hand
Burst in the shop just behind me
And they knew how to cause a ruckus;
They shook the walls with no difficulty
And really rattled the displays.
The scattered heard of trampled
Bulls littered the tiled floor
And me without my shoes... That hurt.

I hobbled painfully along,
Bleeding, broken, befuddled
By the flying squirrels zooming overhead,
Eagerly humming
And dropping smoking acorns
On the unsuspecting heads
Of a squadron of squabbling squawks.

I scampered off to find some shelter
Within a psychedelic prism
Where Bob Hope and Bing Crosby
Were playing the back nine
And bragging about their space exploits
While sea creatures poked their heads out
From beneath the water traps
To eat their jawbreaker golf balls.

My god, they were boring old men.
I strolled onto the ocean
To put some distance between us.
I watched fish scratch the surface
Of the ocean dunes beneath my feet
And they looked surprised to see me.

The shark looked delighted, however;
An electric-blue megalodon
Jonesing for an afternoon snack.
I couldn’t see the depths
Behind it’s salivating mouth,
But nobody lives forever,
So I slathered myself ketchup
And faced it like a champ.

Then the dream ended; I woke up.
And that’s when things got weird…

Friday, April 20, 2012

On a Cloudy Day


On a Cloudy Day
By Brandon Palzkill

Lying on your back in the cool green grass,
Staring at the milky azure canvas above,
Billowing pillows of condensation
Float throughout the troposphere
And become the paint with which you’ll craft
Imaginative tapestries.
What will it be? What can you create?
A train of elephants, marching boldly
At the head of a majestic parade
Their salutary trunks raised high?
A flying castle, tall and grand,
Flags flapping on its battlements
As it towers imperiously?
A clown, perhaps, in his undersized car
Zooming around in wobbly circles
Waving at the audience.
And smiling like a fool.
Maybe you’re seeing George Washington
And maybe he sees you, in kind.
He stares down at you, judging you;
An intimidating cumulous colossus.
Make it anything you want it to be.
Let your imagination run wild,
Let yourself go…
You’re the artist; the sky’s the limit.